The Shy And Panic Poppies🥀

INTRODUCTION

Like flowers, we struggle to grow during harsh conditions or circumstances. Roses and lilies struggle to bloom their petals during winter, choosing to retreat in isolation.

Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) began to spread worldwide in early 2020, which led to a global quarantine and lockdown declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization (WHO) in March 2020.

Schools shut down, employment was low, industries declined, the movement was limited and human interaction was at an all-time low.

These cause a delay in our personal growth, like how flowers pause blooming in harsh weather. At least to mine.

2O2O was a year of anxiety, depression and various mental issues in our youths. Who could blame them?

Social isolation for long periods is like a weed, a dangerous one.

I was one of those who suffered from it. I was a victim of Social Anxiety.

A Poppies View Of Survival🌷

Ever since I was a little girl, I was a quiet sprout. I was comforted in my solitude, peace and silence.

Like the tulips that close their petals at night or during harsh weather, I also shut off my emotions, desires and aspirations in social settings. I was content with that.

When the harsh weather came (Quarantine), I was elated; "I would stay in the comfort of my bed all month" But like a flower deprived of sunlight for too long, I didn't realise the harm of prolonged solitude.

I ate, slept, played games, and wrote stories by myself.

When Quarantine was over, it all came crashing down like a running stream on a hill coming to wash off a great harvest.

I took a step outside the real world.

I froze, the world unaware of my state.

The word 'DANGER!' rang through my head like a loud siren, my blood rushed through my veins for a path to escape, and my breath stuck in my throat, my lungs begging for oxygen.

I had no idea how to interact with my mates any more. The crowd was large, the air felt suffocating, and my vision blurred.

"I didn't want to be here anymore."

Piles and Piles of problems stacked on my tables after such events: sleep paralysis, insomnia, unwanted thoughts and self-harm.

I assumed I would adjust easily, but after the pandemic, I did not.

How will the poppy survive such events?

I withdrew further from my peers and loved ones. It felt necessary. I foolishly believed that less interaction was better.

I swatted any wondrous insects coming to pollinate my petals, rejecting and ignoring good things and people in my life.

Rewards, competitions or opportunities were rejected, believing I deserve nothing but to wither in the shades.

That isn't something I would wish on anyone.

Stepping into the Sunlight☀️

We all need sunlight, not just the typical vitamin D.

Positivity, warmth, love and goodness- that sun's warmth is what we need.

Healing isn't instant. I took small steps. It stung a bit when I slowly stretched out my petals to feel the sun's warmth after harsh seasons.

But I didn't want to wither in the shade any longer.

I lost my identity, and I knew the isolation wasn't worth it.

Talking to my mom more, picking up hobbies, meeting the doctor and letting the music fill the silence I had once feared helped me embrace the sunlight.

My mom reminded me of memories with loved ones.

Hobbies enlightened me on the various things I still need to learn.

The music calmed my racing thoughts.

I’m still learning to bloom, still stretching my petals toward the sun. And maybe, just maybe, this time, I won’t retreat into the shade.

The Lingering Petals of Regret 🌿💜

There were many things I regretted during that time. The purple hyacinth, a symbol of sorrow and apology, perfectly captures the weight of those regrets.

Friendships faded, opportunities slipped through my fingers, and moments of growth passed me by.

But I refuse to let regret take root—I won’t dwell on the past when there’s still time to bloom.

Flowers rooted from the garden

Poppies - Coping with Survival
Tulips - Emotional withdrawal
Purple Hyacinth - bottles of regret

Navigation🪴