THE BLOOMING AND TREMBLING LOTUS

INTRODUCTION

 Teachers, lecturers, Parents and even our peers have always put the importance of education and academic excellence on a pedestal.

Sometimes, we strive for excellence, much like flowers blooming in the quest for beauty and perfection, carrying the expectations placed upon them by society: "Flowers are beautiful," the world says.

However, there are times when these blooming flowers tremble under pressure to meet expectations of beauty and perfection.

Sometimes, you have to act your best; why? The goal isn't to succeed but to appear flawless, to not wither or break.

 

The Day the Lotus Blossoms 🌸

I remember the very day; it plays like a vivid movie. I walked onto the stage to receive an award for best academic performance. It was truly amazing. I felt like a sunflower blooming under the sun's warmth as I accepted my awards. It was a satisfactory victory.

Like the lotus flowers, I have blossomed into a beautiful and perfect representation of my parents' and society's visions—not withered petals or shrivelled roots, but vibrant leaves and petals, sparkling with droplets of water that make them attractive to the fluttering creatures.

Since then, I've developed a tight pain in my chest every time I enter an exam hall, lose a mark, or fail an assignment. My achievements fade like the colours of flower petals in the winter season. I can’t let go of my rank! my achievement! My reputation!! 

But I have to maintain a façade of being the best, and everyone believes that. They come to me for advice, help, or tutoring.

I felt like the Greek Goddess Iris, offering guidance and wisdom to those around me. But who will offer wisdom to me?

Who Waters the Flower?💦

A gardener is a person who tends to and cultivates a garden. 

I would say that a gardener plays an important role in the life of a garden. 

They provide support during difficult and unforgiving weather, protect the plants from pests, and water the roots to help them become stronger. 

But who waters a blooming lotus, especially when everyone has the bias that a lotus is perfect and beautiful and that everything comes to it perfectly?

A lotus can find a gardener in parents, mentors, friends and even self-compassion. That is something a blooming lotus fails to realise in its journey.

 The Hidden Weeds Under The Shade Of Excellence🌿

Just as the world has imposed lofty expectations of beauty onto flowers, it has also pushed similar expectations of academic excellence onto us.

   

Frankly, I have achieved that. I have been praised for my achievements and sometimes even become the subject of jokes about them, like the ones that say, "You read too much; do you want your head to burst?" or "She's like a memory crammed into a suitcase; of course, she's prepared." I smile and chuckle.

However, the constant pressure to maintain that position can be overwhelming. To others, it may seem like top students achieve their success effortlessly because they are naturally intelligent.

They often fail to see the countless all-nighters and hours of studying that go into their achievements, with the fear of disappointment acting as their motivation.

I felt withdrawn from my peers; they seemed so far away, especially during exam periods. I was isolated from them, much like a blue lotus that grows alone in the ocean, with no one to accompany it. The feeling of being sought only for studying or assistance with their studies hurt me—I felt so isolated. Was I boring?

I understand that people have different friends for various purposes, but why did I feel like I was just a study buddy to everyone? No one seemed to know my deeper desires or dreams. And they seem to not care?

I sacrificed a lot to maintain the "perfect student" persona: my social life, my hobbies, and my interests were all set aside in favour of hours of studying. Anxiety crept in despite my efforts to keep it at bay, and no matter how many locks I tried to install, it only seemed to grow stronger.

Tears streamed down my cheeks after a bad test. I spent restless nights replaying the terrible answers I wrote on my exam papers, my calculations spread out on the table as I nervously calculated my GPA.

'I realized that I needed to define my own meaning of success.'

🌻 Blooming for Yourself

Yes, let's not lie; the beautiful and blooming flowers are a wondrous sight to gaze upon, and everyone wants that. There's nothing wrong with wanting beauty in life.

But how can you grow a seed of happiness in your garden? Remember, you should love yourself for who you are and not for what you achieve. Take a walk, play a game, write down your thoughts, or learn something fun. 

Your life is yours, so spend as much of it as you can trying to be happy.

Remember, not all weeds are harmful, so embrace your flaws.

Flowers rooted from the Garden🌱

1. Lotus - Wisdom, Resilience, Growth
2. Blue Locus - Isolation, Emotional distance, Solitude
3. Sunflowers - Hope, Success, Happiness

TASKS TO CARRY OUT

Jot down your gardeners in your life and what they have added to grow your garden.